On this page you can find:
- The first steps to manage it;
- Exercise to recognize it;
- Breathing exercises.
Emotions of FEAR make us sick.
Those of HAPPINESS keep us healthy.
In general, emotions are divided into functional, meaning useful for our well-being, or dysfunctional, meaning useless and even harmful for our health. Examples of bad emotions are anger 😡, frustration 😫, fear 😱, impotence 😑, self dissatisfaction 😩, hate 😠, guilt 😕 or too high expectations 🤩. The most frequently encountered emotions are fear and guilt. Fear is a transitory anxiety, mostly coming from too high expectation. If we become aware our bad emotion, we can understand if it’s reale or not and manage it more easily.
We begin to understand what kind of emotions we are feeling, then we can find out a deeper meaning or need, hiding behind those emotions. For example feeling angry disguises a need for love and attention. In reality also bad emotions could be useful (functional). They help us understand ourselves. Just the fact that we are able to acknowledge and understand our emotions put us half way to our healing journey. For example anger 😡 can bring a pivotal change to our life that we would have not considered without strong feelings.
Hopefully, we can choose our emotion and follow a healthy emotional diet by listening carefully to our deepest state, without focusing solely on external environmental stimuli.
And remember! Everything we do when faced with a problem, is driven by our current capacity and awareness, without bad intentions of hurting or causing other people to suffer.
For a better understanding and more information search in the website of Daniel Lumera (in Italian and Spanish): http://www.danielumera.com. You can also follow him on YouTube and Instagram.
2. The first steps to manage emotions
- Stop and breath for some minutes, take a long breath: inhale for 4s and exhale for 6s;
- Recognize which emotion are you experiencing now (exercise below);
- Accept it, with forgiveness (without repressing or denying it);
- Name your emotion (e.g. fear of not being loved);
- Get rid of it, let it go, naturally, without giving it too much importance, without clinging to it. Forgive yourself, others and your toxic emotion;I imagine a blue sky with several clouds (my emotions). See this emotion as a passing cloud, watching it pass by in the blue sky, not trying to stop it.
- Now is the time to renew it. Consciously replace it with a positive, intensely desired, more productive and more loving emotion. You will achieve emotional and spiritual peace! Reactions and emotions that were once automatism will now be under control.Actively, do an activity or imagine something you love, a trip, a project, a nature walk, anything that makes you feel good.
When you know every single signal of your emotions and its message, you will no longer see emotions as an enemy, but as an ally! You alone have it in your hands how you react to the circumstances! Angry, sad, helpless? Or do you see the message, the learning behind it, laugh about it and make the best of it? Trust in your power and it will grow step by step.
3. Exercise to recognize them
- Choose your fear of the moment;
- Visualize what your life would be like without this fear;
- Define a small SMART action to deal with your fear and not run away;
- Write down the situation that has created guilt for you in the last 3 days. This will help you to be aware of what situation is causing you problems;
- You can also think about the little accidents that have happened to you, such as gnawing your nails or drinking alcohol or whatever, and ask yourself, “What were you thinking about in those moments?” This also helps you understand what is bothering you at the moment;
- Accept this situation as a limitation of yours in the present moment, remembering that we are all human beings, with our weaknesses;
- Repeat this phrase: “I am able to manage my emotions, accepting my current limitations, and make the right choice for me”.
Here is an example of answers to the previous questions:
- Choose your fear of the moment: fear of not being loved;
- Visualize what your life would be like without this fear: without this fear, my life would be more calm, peaceful and clear;
- Define a small SMART action to deal with your fear and not run away: maintaining loving relationships with family and friends;
- Write down the situation that has created guilt for you in the last 3 days. This will help you to be aware of what situation is causing you problems: feeling guilty about jealousy in the partnership, I was feeling not enough for his love, i.e. ugly and disabled (deprived of my usual skills due to illness);
- You can also think about the little accidents that have happened to you, such as gnawing your nails or drinking alcohol or whatever, and ask yourself, “What were you thinking about in those moments?” This also helps you understand what is bothering you at the moment: I had some accidents, such as burning food, while cooking, because I was thinking about the problem, I was living badly my emotion of fear;
- Accept this situation as a limitation of yours in the present moment, remembering that we are all human beings, with our weaknesses: now, I’m able to accept it and overcome it by becoming aware that this fear is based entirely on my current physical and mental state due to my deseases;
Question 2 helps us understand which expectations are too high and cause distress. In the example, she believes that the only responsible person for his peace of mind is her partner. Whereas, this peace lies only within us, it depends on ourselves, we have the responsibility to feel loved, be calm, peaceful and untroubled.
Through this exercise, we are able to be more realistic and aware that we are only compensating for our true needs (such as feeling loved). Unfortunately, food can also be a factor in emotional compensation and can be toxic or full of positive emotional, vital and mental nutrients for your body and mind.
Social relationships also need to be taken into care. I suggest you to read about it on the mental health page (paragraph 2 ).
The secret of emotional well-being is: Explore. Release. Refresh.
4. Breathing exercises
Another thing that is essential to dealing with emotions is the breath. In fact, our emotions control our breathing. For example, the breath of an anxious person is breathlessness. If the emotion controls the breath, we can consciously control an emotion through breathing. Learn the art of breathing.
⚠️ Avoid Do It Yourself (DIY) and consult a therapist.
Disclaimer: This text is only for illustration purposes and does not replace your doctor’s opinion. It is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Absolutely avoid DIY (do-it-yourself) and get medical attention.
First edition 09.12.2021
Last update 24.03.2023