Emotions of fear make us sick.
Whereas, those of happiness, keep us healthy.
Find here a tool to understand and manage your emotion.
Examples of main emotions are anger, frustration, fear, impotence, self dissatisfaction, hate, guilt or too high expectations. The most frequently encountered emotions are fear and guilt. If we become aware of what fear occurs, we can understand if it’s reale or not. Then we can manage more easily this emotion.
- Choose your fear of the moment
- Visualize what your life would be like without this fear
- Define a small SMART action to deal with your fear and not run away;
- Write down the situation that has created guilt for you in the last 3 days. This will help you to be aware of what situation is causing you problems;
- You can also think about the little accidents that have happened to you, such as gnawing your nails or drinking alcohol or whatever, and ask yourself, “What were you thinking about in those moments?” This also helps you understand what is bothering you at the moment;
- Accept this situation as a limitation of yours in the present moment, remembering that we are all human beings, with our weaknesses;
- Repeat this phrase: “I am able to manage my emotions, accepting my current limitations, and make the right choice for me”.
Find here an example that answers the questions of the exercise before:
- Fear of being single;
- Without this fear, my life would be more calm / peaceful;
- Maintaining friendship with my ex-partner by responding to his chat;
- Feeling guilty about a jealousy in the relationship;
- I had some accidents, such as burning food, while cooking, or others because I think about the mistake;
- I accept my emotion as it is, as it represents my current limitation only.
Fear is a problem and a transitory agitation, coming from too high expectation.
If we analyze point n°2 of the example, the need to have a peaceful life is a too high expectation: we believe that the partner is the only responsible person for our serenity. Whereas, this lies within us and it is our responsibility to be calm, peaceful, and untroubled.
After doing this exercise, we are able to be more realistic with our expectations.
Once clarified, we are more aware that we are only compensating what we need. In this example, the need of serenity (we believed that serenity was only granted by the partner, when in fact it depends on ourselves).
Everything we do when faced with a problem, is driven by our current capacity and awareness, without bad intentions of hurting or causing other people to suffer.
First edition 26.12.2021
Last update 27.12.2021